The Death of Life

2006-01-17T11:24:00.000-08:00

my entries have gotten shorter and shorter...soon they will be just a word or two...then letters...then just a dot. All I know is im tired.

BiLLs 1st Day of School

2006-01-04T23:37:00.000-08:00

I went to school today. I actually went to 3/5 classes I had, which is excellent for my standards. Then i went to rideau and baught pajamas. The End.

2005-11-14T23:49:00.000-08:00

Its exactly 2:50am. And I'm baking a pie, for my little sisters english project. All I have to say is, mollases are nasty...there is nothing sweet or yummy about it. It tastes like burnt tires mixed with black liqourish....nasty man!

2005-11-02T12:39:00.000-08:00

It's 3 in the afternoon and i just woke up...there's something wrong with that. I cant wait for my birthday, not cuz its my birthday, but cuz we are guaranteed to have no school....yay!!

2005-10-31T19:57:00.000-08:00

I need a digi-cam to document the horror.

2005-10-07T21:21:00.000-07:00

Jimmy Kimmel makes me laugh

2005-09-12T10:33:00.000-07:00

The chaos has begun yet again..ugh. Even though classes started a few days ago, i haven't gone to one class. I wish they'de just give us the textbooks and readings and tell us to go home and come back for the exam...lol. I'm gonna try to actually go to class today....try. (I'm in denial)

2005-08-31T00:11:00.000-07:00

Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken I loved you so
Freedom comes when you learn to let go
Creation comes when you learn to say no
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress you had to burn
Pain is a warning that something's wrong
I pray to God that it won't be long
Walk away
There's nothing left to try
There's no place left to hide
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye
Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken I loved you so
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress
There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye
Learn to say good-bye
I yearn to say good-bye
There's nothing left to try
There's no more places to hide
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye
There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power than the power of good-bye

2005-08-29T18:42:00.000-07:00

The countdown continues...10 days and counting until the sadness engulfs us all. (tear tear)

2005-08-14T16:33:00.000-07:00

School is starting in exactly 3 weeks and 4 days...what a sad reality. Summer is nearly finished, back to overcrowded Marion, sitting on the floor for hours at lockers (hopefully we won't do that again this year, we say that every year and still we do it), labs...oh how I hate thee...someone bomb Ottawa U, no, more specifically Marion.

On a different note, I watched a great documentary on the Japanese conflict with the US in WWII and primarily the nucing of Hiroshimo and Nagasaki. It was a great documentary, and my gosh...I was traumatized by what I saw. And apparently the use of the atom bomb was primarily for study purposes, the Americans wanted to see the effects of the bomb and what exactly radiation would do to people. All I can say is I find it hilarious how the U.S. serves as world police of "Weapons of Mass Destruction", when in fact, they were the first nation to introduce such a destructive and cheap style of kombat. Sad, sad people they are.

Snapshots in Time

2005-08-05T21:01:00.000-07:00

(courtesy frank)

umi attempting to look smart

2005-08-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

run ducks run....before benson eats u

2005-08-05T20:56:00.000-07:00

a beautiful picture on a beautiful day

2005-08-05T20:55:00.001-07:00

happy happy joy joy

2005-08-05T20:55:00.000-07:00

sur la 97

2005-08-05T20:54:00.000-07:00

eat frank...eat

2005-08-05T20:53:00.001-07:00

yummy

2005-08-05T20:53:00.000-07:00

lol...this is a creepy pic, if u look carefully, u see me in the right corner

2005-08-05T20:51:00.000-07:00

umi swooning at my presence

2005-08-05T20:50:00.000-07:00

we all took turns on moh's bike..i think the only person who didnt ride it was mo...lol

2005-08-05T20:49:00.000-07:00

frank's turn on moh's ride

2005-08-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

my turn

2005-08-05T20:46:00.001-07:00

the always popular bunny ears

2005-08-05T20:46:00.000-07:00

smile:)

2005-08-05T20:44:00.000-07:00

note the strategic placement of my hand...lol

2005-08-05T20:42:00.000-07:00

look at the pretty flowers

2005-08-05T20:41:00.000-07:00

benson waiting for 8 at billings

2005-08-05T20:39:00.000-07:00

the end of a long day for Charlie's Angels

A Series of funfilled events

2005-08-03T20:40:00.000-07:00

Monday was a great day. Chillaxin with my friends (I hate that word, but I like to use it). Another stupid idea, lets walk all the way from rideau to billings...lol...Lenny, remind you of anything? But it was actually really enjoyable, I need to get out more, and do more nature type crap. Like walking, or biking. However, it was a great day. Those Pina Collatas were yummy, next time we'll order 2 or 3 umi. One bad thing that happened was I got sick on the way home, and the next morning, I seriously think I overate, I knew that Chillate was overdoing it...how could something so damn yummy hurt me so bad? lol.

Anywho, today on the bus I saw this girl. She looked like those punk kids, wearing all black, black eye-liner, black hair, piercings, etc. She was taking up two seats, because she was sitting sideways on the chairs. But the thing is, this girl kept picking at what seemed to be every whole in her body. First it was her nose, then she got tired of that and moved onto her mouth. I swear, it was like someone told her to touch her tonsils or something, her hand was halfway rammed down her mouth. And all the while I'm sitting behind her praying for her not to touch anything. I was watching her the whole time intent to see which bar she would touch, so that I wouldn't touch the same one once my stop came. But just as she got up, this cute baby sitting in front of her kept starring at me, so I looked at it for a bit, and before I knew it, nasty picking girl was gone. So I never found out which pole she touched. All I have to say is, beware of public transit. There are some nasty people out there that will pick at things that just don't need to be picked.

On another tangent, today I attempted to watch Batman Begins (notice I say attempted)...I think the movie's still out in theatres, I found a copy in my house from my brother...prolly some bootleg one...(should I be saying this on a public blog?), anywho, that movie stank ass. It was horrible, or should I say the first hour I watched of it. For starters, it was way too dark. The dialogue was also shit, and the storyline was garbage. You'de think after like 4 times they would just give up already.

Brain cell count expanding

2005-07-28T14:51:00.000-07:00

The word "aging" is a euphamism for dying. And though our decay teaches us in very visual and perceptual ways how our bodies begin to close down, we choose to deny its lessons. We spend billions of dollars each year cosmeticizing ourselves, we dye the gray hair, adorn our balding scalps with toupees, fill in the clefts of our wrinkles, lift our faces, and suck out our fat. Until the decline of our bodies directly threatens our lives, we forever fret over them, chemically or surgically after the visible treatments of age, and never contemplate dying. Preoccupation with veneer distances us from death, making it more extraordinary than it really is; it shrouds death in mystery, in the fear of excruciation and humiliation.
-The Language of Cells: life as seen under the microscope.

An excellent novel I finished reading last week. Its a combination of science and real life stories about the people behind the illnesses it discusses. One in a few excellent books I've read in a while...then again, the last time I read a novel was like 4 years ago.

pic my nic

2005-07-27T19:18:00.000-07:00

Today was nice at work. The secretary who works for the doctor was nice enough to arrange a picnic for us. Each of us pitched in some food. But the rain kinda ruined the whole outdoors thing. But all I have to say is the lady out did herself, flowered tablecloth, colour coordinated table settings, nice utensils and wine glasses (of course no wine...lemonade...lol..i can feel umi sighing right now). And the chicken thing she made was dee-lish! lol people who worked on the same floor were staring at us...lol...it was like we were in a 5-star restaurant in the middle of the lounge area. Funny times

It's sooo hot outside & I hate the 8!

2005-07-21T18:59:00.000-07:00

Goddamn OC-Transpo. Stupid dumbasses suck. I waited an hour for the stupid 8 to come the other day, apparently there was construction or hydro going on near Heatherington & Albian, and the morons never thought of telling us people about that. They finally sent a backup bus like an hour later. So I was late for work (but thats no biggy cuz theres noone who like watches me or anything). but the important thing is they shoulda told ppl ahead of time. I also hate the 8 because its always full, and those butt-wipes never think of getting a full-sized bus for the route. And with a full bus load of people in the summer comes, of course, intensly crazy-ass heat. My gosh is it ever nasty in that bus. Sweaty tired people, in very close quarters is no fun man. You'de think they'de get the idea and give us an air-conditioned bus, but nooooo....they have to give it to useless buses like the 16 that has a maximum of 4 people on it everytime I get on. What the hell is wrong with the ministry of transportation, I demand my $500 back. They're gonna be getting a call from a discruntled citizen sometime in the week..when im feeling less tired.

On a happier note, I watched this hilariously retarded "reality" show type garbage yesterday, "So you think you can dance"...man the characters I saw on that show were hilarious...and I don't think they meant to be. There was this particular one guy who danced in like a ballet style, but then he did this ribbon routine (the ones you see female gymnasts do in the olympics)...and that sooo made him look gay, lol not to mention his outfit, or should I say, lack of outfit. He had this unbottoned shirt my 2 year old cousin could wear, and these super nasty tight shorts that was the least to say, revealing...lol. Oh boy, the things people will do for fame. It just amuses me, I'm just waiting for the day someone has to eat a human corpse on fear factor. Sad times we live in...so very very sad...but nonetheless amusing!

2005-07-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

I spent like the past 7 hours inputting data about head and neck cancer...how sad. So, I finally kinda got a job. I say kinda cuz the doctor i do research with already had 2 students (a 3rd yr med student, and a girl my age from OttawaU), and since they came first, most of his funding is given away. But anywho, he said he'd pay me for 'some' work in the meantime. I dont care anyway, cuz whats cool is he's like, i'de like you to get a publication out. lol, i thought that was so cool...cuz its like you actually wrote something, and other ppl can reference you. lol. Anywho, cancer is sad man...i found out mainly men have head cancers, and they smoke lots and drink...so ppl, dont smoke, or drink, well drink water...but not beer and such. Plus i also learn these ginormous medical words i never even knew existed, lemme try to remember one...hmm...palatalmandibular carcinoma...imagine trying to type that from some retarts messy ass handwriting. sigh. At least I'm being somewhat productive.
-P.S. See Umi, I do get out of the house...i leave every morning at 9 am to help mankind...starting this week...lol

Breakfast at Wimbledon

2005-07-01T19:26:00.000-07:00

Thursday, June 30

I forced myself to wake up this morning at around 10 so I could watch the semifinals match b/w Venus Williams and Maria Sharapova. I was pretty tired seeing as I went to bed last night, or rather this morning at 5:00am. Only to my surprise, the stupid match was delayed for like 3 hours because of rain delay. So in the meantine I decided to attempt to make lasagna... from scratch. Oh, I'm a genious, having seen my mom do it once, it actually worked out! It tasted pretty good. I also made steak, salad, and lemonade...Martha Stewart look out, here I come, lol.

Anywho, my Venus won the match in straight sets. Damn right, stupid Sharapova, she pisses me off. It was a pretty sweet match. Every hit was like super hard, and the rallies were pretty long. Roger Federer also won his match against Lleyton Hewitt...whoo hoo. I don't like Lleyton either. I want Federer to play Roddick in the finals and whoop him again, just like he did last year. How I would kill to be in London right now, in center court, watching the mens' and womens' finals. I'm such a dumbass, I coulda went last year, if I wasn't sick and hadn't gone home. Fun times.

LoL, I love this saying I heard on some commercial: "why experience life, when you can watch it". I believe that is what I, along with most of us are doing....for now.

2005-06-27T17:37:00.000-07:00

So very tired...airports, bags, people, cameras, graduations, unemployment, ice cream, sweat, television...this is my world.

-btw, HAPPY B-DAY LENNY! (welcome to the senior citizens club)

Typing in the dark is hard

2005-06-21T02:02:00.000-07:00

everyones asleep, and its like 2 in the morning. i really need a job #1 to get cash, and #2 to force me to go to sleep early. i remember when i worked at stupid opinion search, i always came home really tired and worn out. that place was so weird, i met some cool ppl, and some not so normal ppl. there was this one dude who was i think gay or bi or something, cuz he kept telling me stories about his gay girlfriends...i was like wth, and i didnt even know him, and i had to spend a 10 hr weekend shift with him...the agony. i wonder why almost all gay guys have lisps...i swear there must be some sort of genetic predisposition or something...thats it, im gonna make that my honours research project! I'll title it "genetic insight into why gay ppl have lisps", hopefully its Nobel Prize worthy, then when i win my million dollars, I'll spend it frivolously on something obscenely stupid, like a million dollar pair of underwear or something...lol.

ok, on a more serious note, one thing i've noticed is how msn has seriously destroyed my capabilities to properly write in the english language. i dunno bout you, but i've encountered such problems as: skipping commas, periods, and capitals when writing, using abbreviations such as ppl or btw etc. instead of writing out the whole word, and the overuse of stupid phrases that are supposed to capture your feelings at a certain moment such as "lol"...lol, see im doing it right now, and i cant help it. there's so much punctuation and grammatical errors in this blog it's not even funny. i now have to make a conscious effort to try and write properly whereas before msn times, i used to write just fine. if we continue at this rate, we're gonna have a generation of dumbasses who cant spell or write for shit. stupid stupid msn, i curse thee.

2005-06-19T17:58:00.000-07:00

the countdown begins...

2005-06-17T22:27:00.000-07:00

im watchin u...mwaahaaahaaa

2005-06-17T22:17:00.000-07:00

smile be happy

2005-06-17T22:15:00.001-07:00

a tender moment

2005-06-17T22:15:00.000-07:00

another tender moment

2005-06-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

mr. chauffer

2005-06-17T22:11:00.000-07:00

lol...bertha runnin to store with waiter to find his bag

2005-06-17T22:10:00.000-07:00

bertha's happy cuz he found his bag

2005-06-17T22:08:00.000-07:00

me&umi doin the tango (despite what u think, the girl is heavy man!)

2005-06-17T22:07:00.000-07:00

aww...(thats moh in the background)

2005-06-17T22:03:00.000-07:00

fun times!

Globber Jammers!!!

2005-06-17T21:32:00.000-07:00

Thursday was so kick-ass man. I actually went out and did something...with other ppl...ppl whose company I enjoy. That Indian restaurant was fun. Globberjammers...i can't get that word outta my head (I know i'm prolly saying it wrong frank)...lol. Then benson forgot his bag at the restaurant. Dumbass. The waiter man was so nice, he followed us all the way outside (if i were him I woulda took the bag and blamed benson for being so careless...lol..j/k..cuz u payed for food, thanx man)

Anywho, our fun filled day was dampered after finding out the super gay Batman movie was sold-out (there are even bigger losers in this world than us). I was kinda happy I wouldnt be forced to see such a gay movie...im debating whose gayer Batman or Superman? hmm...

Anywho, the day was still kickass man. Moh's lil bro came and provided us with transportation. (he made me feel like a bigger loser, after seeing him able to drive and all). Then we went to Second Cup where Moh works and had coffee. Wow, we were like cool uni students, all mature...sitting at a coffee shop with glasses on...the only thing missing was strange ppl reading poetry, and cigarette fumes in the air...lol. Thanx to moh man, he paid for that. I had a chillate, and it was delicious. After our escapade was over, we all headed home, with Moh as our chauffer.

What a great day, and i think i only spent like a dollar on gum...hey, btw someone still has my full brand new pack of gum...i think i left it in seher's purse or umi's. All in all, great day...and it was great cuz i was there...lol.

2005-06-13T23:54:00.000-07:00

So today i actually got some stuff done. i got off my butt, and went around handing in application forms to various locations ranging from pharmacies to the hospital itself (the h.r. ppl there seriously must be getting sick of me, cuz i've applied lots of times...its not my fault i hate french).

My gosh is it ever hot outside...it reminded me of Dubai, u sweat from places you seriously thought u couldnt sweat from. Anywho, i miss my dad man. I dropped him off at the bus terminal a few hours ago, and i miss him already (*wipes tear)...we spent our evenings watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy together, screaming out answers like crazy ppl (i seriously need to be on a game show, you don't know how good i am at solving puzzles and trivia).

Yeh, so summer is like almost half way over...that got me thinking of school, so i decided to look at my timetable for next year. And after looking at my schedule, i decided to look at the compulsory course list and graduation requirements. Then it hit me...with the courses i have registered and what i have left to do, I'm gonna be down like 6 credits (3 science electives and 3 from non-science elective) from graduating on time. And now i regret not sticking to the stupid "suggested amount of courses" to take...dropping animal form has come back to haunt me. So i'm sitting here racking my brain trying to figure out how to orchestrate some crazy ass schedules that'll allow me to have all my electives in time for graduation...I would take summer courses, but then i realized stupid gay med school don't count any marks taken in the summer...and stupid gay Ottawa U doesnt offer any science electives in the summer. So i'm screwed for the moment...my only option is to have a retardedly crazy semester next yr or in 4th year where i take 7 courses, or i find a 5 credit science course at the 3rd yr level or 2nd yr level...animal form or plant biology..noooooooooo...how i wish for simpler days where all i had to worry about was if there was any pizza left on those pizza days we used to have at RHS...sigh.

2005-06-10T22:38:00.000-07:00

tom cruise is retarded. i swear the dude's on crack.

2005-06-10T22:35:00.000-07:00

-lol...theres something abt this face

Joke of the Day

2005-06-08T20:23:00.000-07:00

Why does Michael Jackson love 29 year olds? Because there's 20 of em!
-hahahaha

2005-06-07T22:20:00.000-07:00

-where i was exactly one year ago.

headlines

2005-06-07T22:05:00.000-07:00

In the news: there seems to be a huge hype over coldplay and their new cd x&y coming out, i like certain songs but i dont think the dudes are total geniuses, (we must remember chris martin did name his kid apple...years of scaring await that kid)...what else...hmm...michael jackson molestation bonanza...a lady gets eatten by a bear in alberta (lol...her friends ran away and she climbed a tree...there is a lesson here)...potential vaccine for ebola created by noneother than a Canadian (so all those organic chem labs do have a purpose)...we have a corrupt government secret tapes etc. And finally more ppl die around the world, same old same old crap.

mwwaahhaaahhaaa

2005-06-07T21:23:00.000-07:00

Today, well no, yesterday i watched SAW curtisy r-duuuuu . This is one seriously deranged movie. Crazy psycho killer abducts ppl and has these twisted plots whereby they in the end end up killing themselves or someone else. Other than the fact that elliott basically told me the entire plot during the school yr (which kinda ruined it for me), it was a pretty good movie...unrealistic but good. esp the end...ohhh now i get the title...saw, as in like a chainsaw not saw as in you seen something...lol.

will you be my friend?

2005-06-05T18:45:00.000-07:00

life sucks man...3 more months of this? Plzzzzz someone shoot me...I think even 4 hour labs are better than this. (I will take this back when school starts). I wish something cool would happen to me. Like me being ubducted by aliens and then probed. At least I'de have something cool to tell people when they ask 'so, what did you do over the summer?'...I wouldn't have to reply 'I woke up at 3 and played video games till the sun went down and channel surfed on a daily basis'. The highlite of my day is seeing how far I can get in Mortal Kombat Deception (btw im on the last realm, if anyone knows how to unlock Lui Kan plz tell me...im dying to know). I think even Saddam Hussein is having a funner time than me...lol...sigh.

the daily events of my life

2005-06-03T00:59:00.000-07:00

Today was a pleasant day. I did more than I usually do, which is sleep at around 4am (lay in bed for an hour or more tossing around)...then I wake up around 3 in the afternoon. I told my mom to wake me up at 11am last night (just to see if I could actually do it...wake up). But, as you would know it, I couldn't force myself to wake up even if I wanted to. I needed my 13 hours of sleep. lol how sad. Anywho, my sister finally woke me up after numerous failed attempts by many members of my family including my father. I woke up around 2 (this is still kinda early for me). Then I felt motivated. I went downstairs and made dinner in 1 hour (its a new record for me). Dinner was lovely, pasta, sauce, bbq chicken, and salad, oh and lemonade you can't forget the lemonade. By the way, today was freakin hot. So then I took a shower. I begged by mom to give me a ride to the hospital (ok...i kinda demanded). She agreed, of course, who could resist this oh so cute face...lol.
Volunteering was kinda less boring today than normal days. On normal days all I do is walk around the halls askin people if they want water, and when im sick of seeing grumpy old faces, I go to the tv room and watch tv with bertha. Oh yeah, back to today (wow, i think i have A.D.D.). I fed an old man today. He was kinda grumpy. A small incident insued when I called the nurseman to come in and raise his bed so I could feed him, cuz I didn't trust benson to do it..lol. The man started yelling at the nurse guy telling him he didnt like pillows under his legs. The nurseman just ignored him...lol. ive noticed most doctors and nurses, when faced with a situation with a patient, simply ignore them. Some nurses are seriously bitchy and evil..like this evil nurse lady who we (bertha and I) called to help us with a patient who was moving around in his bed and making noises (lol this sounds wrong) as though he was in pain. When we asked what was wrong, the nurse started to walk away and was like "you ask him"...i muttered bitch under my breath...there goes my A.D.D. again...back to my story. So, yeh, ok...i fed the old man. He was actually quite nice. He asked what my name was, and I told him about three times "its Lilian", his reply, "Quillian"...my reply, "no Lilian", his reply "nice to meet you Cillia"...then I gave up. After that dude, I walked an old lady with bertha. She was really sweet. We wheelchaired her around outside and sat in the park. After a few minutes of sitting, I noticed a man smoking behind us. So in the back of my mind I was like, "man this dude is rude, cant he see there's an old lady here." Then i noticed more and more people smoking. So then I thought to myself "these ppl are all evil". lol...soon after I noticed a yellow marked line along the pavement at the bench where we were sitting. Then it hit me, we were sitting in a smokers only section. lol...we're retarded. After that we moved. Haha even the old lady made fun of us saying the people probably thought we we're dumbasses for putting an old nonsmoking lady in a smokers section. Anywho, then we saw a bunny on our way back. I was like "oh look there's a bunny!" and the old lady was like "huh, where...I cant see it cuz of my cataracts"...then i laughed cuz it was so damn funny. Man, wheelchairs are fun, when I get old I want one of those mechanical ones though. So I can run people over, and race other old people like Grandpa Simpson..lol...yes, I know, I live in a dream world.
Anywayz...after my stint at the hospital, bertha and I went to the Bay to see if dumbass Eman would be there so I could get an application form cuz now im desperate for a job. But she wasnt there. So we sadly bused back home and stopped off at the library to pick up some old movie bertha reserved. (we had to walk an extra few blocks cuz the retarded bus driver didnt stop at the right place). Sadly, the library was closed...lazy bastards close at 6 on fridays and open at 10am. Such dissappointments.
Anywho, then we walked home passed Ridgemont. This was the first time I took the pathway home since highschool. Man the place has changed. Those evil builders cut down all the trees...no more shrubs, no more ducks, evil evil people. Then after that I walked all the way home and I was pooped. It was a big day for me. This is the most i've done in a while. The saga shall continue.
-wow I wrote a lot of crap.

My Rant

2005-06-01T21:53:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have lots of things that annoy the heck out of me. More so to do with people and things they decide to do, like for example girls…stupid girls make me mad. Lets countdown my top 10 pet peeves:

10.) people who wear sunglasses and stare at you and think you can’t notice them staring...actually, people who stare in general are annoying.

9.) those stupid girls on tv screaming in the background at movie premiers, award shows, concerts, and other useless garbage that involves famous overly primped male “stars”. I want to beat you with a stick!

8.) Adan boys trying to be black…one Eminem is enough for the world.

7.) Asian boys trying to be black…lol...this cracks me up even more…and when you guys colour your hair…its ok for the girls to do it, but blonde hair on an azn boy just don’t look right.

6.) girls who wear those stupid little purse thingys that have the capability to carry absolutely nothing except maybe a chapstick…that’s what pockets are for, dumbass…use them!

5.) girls who wear more than one of those retardedly small purses, like 2 of them…get a bag.

4.) girls who wear those “low rise” jeans…ok ppl, I dunno ‘bout you, but I’m sick of seeing butt-cracks on a daily basis.

3.) guys who wear low rise pants…this is an even grosser and hairier phenomenon.

2.) those super gay old-navy commercials…they are soooo gay, they make gap commercials look normal. Those lipsinking retardedly happy lookin’ folks dancing (to what looks like was choreographed by Richard Simmons) does not make me wanna go out and buy your shit…although I must say old-navy does make one fine sweater.

1.) girls who wear clothes 3 sizes too small for them. I see some of them wearing shirts that could fit my baby cousin…your flubber hanging out is not sexy.

ok my rant is now complete. Wow, I hate lots of things…especially girls…lol.
I’m bitter, but bitter with a purpose.

my feeble attempt at being poetic

2005-05-31T16:14:00.000-07:00

There is a gaping wound.
It bleeds uncontrollably.
It’s untended, therefore it continuously rots.
It soon becomes infected because no-one cares enough to watch over it.
The wound spreads.
The entire body is soon covered with this disease to unfathomable proportions.
The body shakes and quivers in despair calling out to be rescued.
But it’s so ravished beyond recognition, that it can’t be saved.
It seems that no potion, remedy, or tonic can cure this ailment.
The haunting disease viciously shakes the victim’s body
Eradicating the possessed one’s body of any shred of soul.
The malady has accomplished its mission.

- I have but one question to ask, where are the Somali men? And I stress the use of the word MEN. It seems as I look around, year after year, more and more of you seem to vanish. The male identity in this community is disintegrating at a rate that seems to be faster than the speed of light. Generally they are in one of two positions: in jail, or heading there. It is rare to find a good Somali man amongst the youth today. It seems you guys have fallen into the trap of assuming someone else’s identity. You are not a gangster, you are not a thug, you are not a rapper. You are first and foremost a Muslim. So please, act like one. {This rant is not limited to Somali men only, it also applies to the women as well, and all Muslim’s in general this also including you Arab wannabes…and all other wannabes as a matter of fact}

I Don't Wanna Be

2005-05-26T02:11:00.000-07:00

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by a deadly crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one to notice?
I can't be the only one who's learned

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think about me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

Can I have everyone's attention please
See, not like this and that
You're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain, the crust of creation
My whole situation made from clay, dust, stone
And now I'm telling everybody

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I'm trying to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be
I don't want to be

- finally, a song that makes sense, and isn't about making money, cars, or stupid scantily clad girls

The fruits of imagination

2005-05-24T22:00:00.000-07:00

A walk can turn into a journey.
A spark can turn into a flame.
A look can turn into a kiss.

Refreshing

2005-05-24T03:17:00.000-07:00

I like this song. It just makes sense. I used to make fun of ardo for listening to islamic music cuz I thought it sounded funny...but this one just has a nicer ring to it, plus its coherent.

How great the wonders of the heavens
And the timeless beauty of the night
How great -- then how great the creator?
And its star like priceless jewels far beyond the reach of kings
Bow down for the shepard guiding him home
But how many eyes are closed to the wonder of this night?
Like pearls, hidden, deep beneath a dark stream of desires
But like dreams vanish with the call to prayer
And the dawn extinguishes night - here too are signs
God is the light
God is the light
How great the beauty of the Earth and the creatures who dwell on her
How great -- then how great the creator?
As it's mountains pierce the clouds hight about the lives of men
Weeping rivers for thousands of years
But how many hearts are closed to the wonders of this sight?
Like birds in a cage, asleep with closed wings
But as work stops with the call to prayer
And the birds recite - here too are signs
God is the light
God is the light
How great the works of man and the things he makes
How great -- then how great the creator?
Though he strives to reach the heavens he can barely survive
The wars of the world he lives in
Yet how many times he's tried, himself to immortalize?
Like his parents before him in the garden of Eden
But like the sun sets with the call to prayer
And surrenders to the night here too are signs
God is the light everlasting
God is the light everlasting
God is the light everlasting
God is the light everlasting
-Yusuf Islam

The World's On Fire

2005-05-24T02:55:00.000-07:00

Wow...I'm really tired. So why am I awake? Why don't I go to bed? Because my head is bloated. That's right, my head is bloated. It's filled with thoughts...desires, hopes and dreams. I woke up this morning...and I felt... old. I seriously realized today in actual fact just how old I am. I don't know why people say your twenties are the best time in life. Life sucks when your 20. Damn bastards lied to me...you...all of us. Nothing gets better with age. Problems just accumulate atop one another. And you realize just how much your life sucks, and how much more it will suck in a few years time. Responsibilities pile up, and most importantly expectations. Stupid, stupid, stupid expectations. How I wish I lived in medieval times...I'd be beyond middleaged by now, and be dead soon. It's like someone gave me glasses with the right prescription. Now I see what a (for lack of a better term) fucked up world we live in. There's no use in trying to fix it. It's already broken beyond repair. The only thing left to do is wait for it to all come crashing down. I just hope I'm not around to see that happen. But in the meantime, I'll just sit hear and wallow in despair...with a delicious ice cream sandwich, savoring every last morsel of youth I have left in me.

in the beginning

2005-05-20T22:23:00.000-07:00

So this is what it feels like to blog. So let me see, you're supposed to bare your soul, then post it, then let people...perfect strangers and friends read every juicy detail...or in my case every boring detail. This is weird.